So, it has been a little while since I have written a blog post or shared a nugget of joy. When I finished up in my role as a Senior Pastor, I still wanted to continue sharing Gods encouraging word weekly. I felt that I didn’t want to keep the voice God gave me silent.
It is strange for me to have this strong desire to share my voice. Growing up I found it very difficult to share my voice. Words, you might be surprised to know, have never been my strength. Having a speech impediment as kid, a massive fear of public speaking, and a self-confidence issue doesn’t typically build a solid foundation for becoming someone that desires to speak up. However, God, who loves to turn our weakness into strength, did that for me. During my time in ministry God helped me developed an ability to share and string sermons together naturally.
Towards the end of my time as a pastor, I found this ability only grew underneath the heart ache and challenges I was going through. Experiencing a relationship breakdown and divorce while being a Senior Pastor was extremely difficult. My whole life was on display. I felt vulnerable to being judged for my life not looking like the example it should to everyone around me. I was walking a constant tightrope with no clear path to success no matter how hard I tried. My theology evolved during this time of distress and the black / white version of the Christianity of my youth changed.
Through the experience of life, we can discover God in the grey and see the beauty of God’s word all around us especially through the challenges. The Bible, a holy scroll, is a beautiful piece of divine literature that shows God speaking through the imperfections of humanity. A God desiring us and speaking to us through our imperfections.
So, I am letting God speak through my imperfections. I will never claim to have a perfect understanding of God, however, all I will claim is what I feel we can discover when we dive into God putting on skin in Jesus Christ. In the incarnation we discover God’s love wins, knows no boundaries, and can never be boxed into our human paradigms.
I continue to feel encouraged by God to share his love through my voice and seek to break the paradigms that separate us or makes any human feel unworthy despite their imperfections. I don’t believe there is perfect theology, just Gods perfect love as can be seen in the example of Jesus Christ. So, let love shine through the imperfections of our theology. Let us be known for the love of Christ that includes all humanity and shines a light on the divine finger print placed within.
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